


What is Art: A Cat Wizard and Wang Drawing Retrospective

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bonus Round 5 fill for the HSWC. </p><p>"Dave &/♦ Roxy</p><p>"Art is whatever you can get away with"<br/>-Andy warhol"</p>
            </blockquote>





	What is Art: A Cat Wizard and Wang Drawing Retrospective

"Dave. Dave, no." This was a mistake. Rose had warned you that this would be a colossal, monumental waste of time, but you felt the need to try and be all maternally supportive or some junk and go to your nephewson's gallery opening. You had high hopes. After all, Dave was pretty good with a camera, from what you understood, and he had a talent for dead things, jars, and putting the former in the latter. But apparently? He was doing... painting.

Erotic smuppet. A painting of a selfie taken in the window of a Burger King. An abstract of a... that was probably a dick. Almost certainly a dick. "Dave. This is... not art."

"Whaaaat? No. Roxy. This is art. Legit art. I mean, here we are. In an art gallery. Pretty sure that makes it art." Dave had on a beret. A fucking beret.

"No. Dave. I mean, like, I don't know much about art, except most of it is boring. But these. Are paintings. But not art. That Van Gog dude? Art. Okami? That game was art. Fuck you, Ebert. That dude who paints the lighthouses? I don't know. Maybe art." Your idea of true art was, well, besides video games, you saw this badass airbrushed wizard fighting a lava dragon on the side of a van? Oh god, that was hot. And art. "This though? Who owns this gallery? It smells like beef."

"It should. It was a meatpacking plant before I bought it. That SBAHJ money." You knew what an HJ was. SBA, whatever that was, was good enough to buy a meatpacking plant, apparently. "Roxy. For real though. A toilet is art. A dude once straight up pissed on a Jesus and that went in a gallery. Pissed right on a Jesus. I'm better than Watersports Christ, okay?"

"That... that's the Mona Lisa. You drew shades on her and. Oh, yep, there's another wang. I'm starting to think Rose is onto something with your dick thought oppression."

"Repression."

"You would know."

"You would!"

"Hey, I don't repress any of my dick thoughts! Woo, dick thoughts!"

"And your crush on Hot Mom Crocker?" Your cheeks are burning, and you shoot Dave something between a frown and pout. "Okay, look, some thoughts aren't repressed so much as obviously not needing to be expressed out loud. But we're not talking about my Sephoric urges. We're talking about how you need to not debut this stuff. Dave. As your futureauntmom from another universe, you kind of just need to trust me. I'm looking out for you."

"Okay. Okay. Please, grace upon me some knowledge on how to make some good art. What's cutting edge in the post-Condesce art world?"

You shudder. "Clowns. Uh. Propaganda posters. Uh, the little dudes in my building were way into chalk art and collage. But, okay, my advice?"

"Yes. Lay it on me, Roxy."

You set the stage with a flourishing arm motion, as if painting a picture on reality itself. "Two words. Cat. Wizards."


End file.
